My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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