You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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