Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
