If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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