Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
