Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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