yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
