Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize