you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
