now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm at about main and main street
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
