so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
