She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
