he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
