Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
