i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
