I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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