I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am full of burrito and curiosity
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
