You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
