I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
