yea but for you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?