She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.