I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
