I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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