I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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