it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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