My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
