and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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