I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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