i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
