Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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