yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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