I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize