Where did you get a picture of my penis
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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