so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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