Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
