your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
