when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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