hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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