Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
