dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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