Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize