i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize