I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize