He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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