hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
