Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
