absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
