Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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