I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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