I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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