Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
