I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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