eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
