why didn't you poke me back
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
