Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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