Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
