I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i dont even know how to be here
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
