We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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